Hello everyone!
I just wanted to write a note of thanks to all of you who have been there for our family in countless ways over these last 4 long years during Jim’s incarceration. I (Cheryl) know that I do not post much personally; I’m not the greatest writer and my life is so crazy busy raising my girls and trying to “survive” with Jim being gone, that it’s hard for me to find time most days to do anything else. In any case, my heart has grown so full of thankfulness and gratitude for all of you that I wanted to MAKE time to thank you and let all of you know how much you have ministered to me personally.
The Bible says that it is more blessed to give than receive and I have experienced this personally most of my life, as I grew up in a home where we were typically always on the giving end of things, even if it was just of our time and help. We were not wealthy by any means, but we learned ways in how to give/love on others and watch them light up. I became accustomed (and somewhat addicted) to this “feeling” and enjoyed blessing people and had a very difficult/uncomfortable time being on the receiving end of things. One day, I distinctly remember a lady from PFT who was a hairdresser wanting to do my hair. I went over to her house and she spent a lot of time putting highlights in, washing, drying, cutting and styling my hair… It took 2-3 hours! I had the money to pay for her, but she wouldn’t accept it. I did what I always did and pushed back and after some back and forth stubborn “arguing” over it to no avail, I then attempted to leave the money in an inconspicuous place. She was the sweetest lady, but she “called me out” that day…LOL. She said something along the lines of, “Cheryl, do you enjoy giving to others?” Of course, I said yes. She said, “Well, I do too and you don’t want to steal my blessing, do you?” I didn’t really know how to respond to that. It hit me right between the eyes and I began to think of all the times in my life that I refused to accept something from someone for free. I had never thought of it as “stealing their blessing.” I especially had a difficult time receiving when I was not “hurting” for money. But I started to think of how I would feel if no one would ever let me do anything nice for them without “paying me back” and it hit me pretty hard. I loved giving and being a part of watching people cry or give God thanks, etc. yet I was not letting others do that for me. And although that day was difficult for me to walk out the door feeling like I was “taking” for one of the first times in my life (on a day that was not my birthday or whatever), it rocked my world and shifted my viewpoint radically in the area of being willing to receive.
I can see now how the Father was using that profound day to “set me up” for my future when I would truly be alone and need to rely on HIM for my everything and allow others to bless me and learn how to receive. And this is where all of you come in. Whether it has been an encouraging word/comment online, a helping hand, an email or letter of gratitude for Jim’s teachings, a virtual hug, a monetary gift, a thoughtful handmade gift or card to my kids/me, etc. you all have ministered to me in more ways than I can count and it has been the most humbling experience of my life to feel love during a time when I needed it the most. And to get real personal, the most profound love that has ministered to both Jim and I during our trial, has been those who have thought the best about us through our situation and not made us feel like “criminals” during this time, but have judged by the Spirit, giving us the benefit of the doubt and loving on us regardless of all the negativity and missing information out there. This love has brought me to tears more times than I can count and the Father has ministered His love to me through it in a way I have never felt before.
I think the reason it has hit me so deeply is that shortly after Jim left, we were told by some people who were closest to us that they did not believe the ministry would survive under Jim’s “tainted” name and with all the bad press out there. We were told that Jim’s teachings were just too hard for people to ‘share’ anymore because people would find out about Jim’s situation and then stumble over all the negativity. I’m sure this was true to a degree, but those words cut deep and I personally wondered if the Father could EVER use Jim again or restore all that was stripped from us. But slowly the Father began to encourage us through so many of you with testimonies sent by email, and especially those new to finding the teachings, that the Spirit of the LIVING God is FAR more powerful than any “bad press” and that He is able to overcome any circumstance and is the God of MIRACLES! I have saved those encouraging emails/messages that have undone that little lie the enemy tried to place in our ears to make us feel we are “done.” Scripture tells us that His Word CANNOT return void and we are seeing living proof that TRUTH truly IS a buoy (as Jim says) and cannot stay down, no matter how hard the enemy tries or how much “mess” seems to be in the way. He truly is King and not bound by man’s obstacles and has proven to us that when we wait on Him, choose not to believe the enemy’s lies, continue to just be a light and TRUST HIM…then He does the rest!
We continue to wait for the day when He will allow us to release “our side of the story” for those who still struggle with the “other side’s” version of what happened, but it has greatly encouraged us that many have already expressed that they understand in the Spirit what has gone on and have seen through much of what the enemy has done. That alone has greatly encouraged me that in staying silent and “dead,” HE was able to be the one to do the work. After 4 years I’m still amazed to be continuing to get emails of encouragement from brand new people who are rocked by a message, then find out about Jim’s situation and STILL can see through the veil of what really happened. It blows my mind.
I just want to praise my King because HE has made possible what I thought was impossible. HE has proven to be our defense when we felt defenseless. HE has shown that HE can overcome anything ‘man’ says and doubts and He loves putting to shame the enemy’s lies. HE has renewed my faith and has taught me not to fight the “death” process, but to just wait on Him to raise back up what He desires when the time is right. He’s not into letting anyone “die” for any other purpose than to shed off any and all layers that need to go before we can truly be a useful, fruit-bearing plant in HIS soil. He’s such a good Father.
He has given all of us gifts and talents to use for His kingdom, but don’t be surprised when He tests you to see if you truly are worthy to continue using them. PASS. YOUR. TEST…like Jim always preaches! Don’t let a single test go unnoticed for what it truly is. Don’t focus on the pain. Don’t get bitter. Don’t ask why. Don’t resist. Just smile, read more scripture, endure, suck it up, ask for prayer, be a LIGHT, allow your spiritual muscles to strengthen, don’t have an entitled mentality, stay humble, and remember how Yeshua handled His situation. When lies, accusations, betrayal, pain, hopelessness, shame and isolation were at His door, He continued to LOVE! He kept on being the light. He rejected the enemy’s lies. He allowed Himself to DIE! You are a child of the KING and He will not allow you to STAY downcast forever. He has made you more than a conqueror in HIM! But what is there to conquer if life is always easy? Think about it. Embrace your tests!
From the Staley family to all of you, we love you. We appreciate you. We have been greatly moved by your love during our most difficult and darkest hour. We are proud to be called your brothers and sisters in Christ and pray that the light of His love will come back around to all of you who have been His hands and feet to our family these last 4 years. We hope you had a blessed Hanukkah season and want to encourage you to keep on sharing HIS great light and thank you for being such a great one to us!
And may Jim be with us in our family picture next Hanukkah!
{Photo credit goes to my daughter Alayna Staley}