It’s another restless night, as I stare out my window into the stillness of the night. A rush of emotions come over me, unable to hold back the tears that seem to fall like rain. Memories flash within my mind of the past, causing me to break even more. Weakness begins to creep its way back in. So many words floooded through my mind like a book, I felt so strongly to write them down, even if I didn’t know what I was writing. So, here I am, at 1:45AM writing anything and just about everything that is on my mind and in my heart.
As I look out the window, I see deer peacefully grazing and lying in the grass, as a raccoon scurries around the yard looking for something to chew on. I interestingly began to think how animals live their lives. Their soul purpose in their life is to keep themselves from being eaten, reproduce, and provide food for humans. They are very alert in their very nature, always aware of their surroundings. It made me think about how us humans, often get caught up in life that we don’t even know what is truly going on around us – what is truly going on within our personal life, or sadly enough we will deny what is going on rather than facing ourselves with the truth. We need to be more alert to what is going on, understand and accept our surroundings and happenings, and figure out a way to move on despite circumstances. As I continued to gaze out the window, the sight of the American Flag caught my glimpse as it was blowing in the cold, crisp, night air. The word “freedom” immediately came into my mind. I felt as if God was telling me “There is about to be a freedom in your life.” Quite frankly, all of us could use some freedom in our lives. After you accept what life throws at you, choose to walk with God with a humble and obedient heart, and you will begin to feel the freedom and peace of God flow into your life. If you have many restless nights wondering about the future, regretting past mistakes, feeling sorrowful, guilt, shame, or whatever it may be, keep your head up. You have a bright future, and that’s a promise (Jer. 29:11). You wouldn’t be going through tough times if God didn’t think you were strong enough. Those moments that you feel weak, that is the very moment He is making you strong. What you think is your weakness, He is growing into a strength.
That rough, narrow, shabby road that we are supposed to be walking is not meant to be easy to travel. Of course we are going to learn the hard way in order for God to squeeze the stubbornness out of us! Success in life does not come easy. Additionally, if you want to be successful and live a stress-free life, it is impossible without Him. You may enjoy the pleasures for a short while, but in the end, all your dreams and towers that you built up on your own will soon crumble into pieces and you will be stuck not knowing what to do. You will be forced to turn to that “something” that you knew you should have went to from the beginning. That is learning the hard way, my friends. Each and every person is different; He teaches us all in His own ways, some different than others, some similar. What matters most is that we stay CLOSE to Him all the days of our lives, and realize that the true victory, peace, and freedom only come if we trust Him and allow Him to build the towers in our lives. The pain and hurt will still be there, but it is a waste of time to relish in our feelings and emotions when there is a process of how to take your life seriously and stay on the right path. Seek God in the stillness, search for His still, small voice amidst the chaos.